MIKE BIRBIGLIA LINES One of my favorite comedians:
I realized recently that what I need to find is a woman who love me for my money but doesn’t understand math.
I shouldn’t say bad stuff about illiterate people. I should write it.
I read recently that women in the workplace still make 30% less than men. Which I think is a good thing, because if you didn't, you ladies would all date each other. That 30% is all we have. Don't take that away from us.
I went out with this girl and she wasn't too bright. She wasn't like book smart, she was like magazine smart. Or, butter label smart.
I went to the national zoo, and I saw the panda bears. And it's sad because one of the reasons panda bears are going extinct is that the male bears like eating more than they like mating. Which at first I thought was strange, but then I thought, 'If I were a panda bear and I had to mate with another panda bear, I wouldn't be too excited either. I'd be like, oh great, she looks EXACTLY like me. Can I get a bamboo sandwhich or something?'
I realized recently that what I need to find is a woman who love me for my money but doesn’t understand math.
I shouldn’t say bad stuff about illiterate people. I should write it.
I read recently that women in the workplace still make 30% less than men. Which I think is a good thing, because if you didn't, you ladies would all date each other. That 30% is all we have. Don't take that away from us.
I went out with this girl and she wasn't too bright. She wasn't like book smart, she was like magazine smart. Or, butter label smart.
I went to the national zoo, and I saw the panda bears. And it's sad because one of the reasons panda bears are going extinct is that the male bears like eating more than they like mating. Which at first I thought was strange, but then I thought, 'If I were a panda bear and I had to mate with another panda bear, I wouldn't be too excited either. I'd be like, oh great, she looks EXACTLY like me. Can I get a bamboo sandwhich or something?'
1 comment:
That panda one is laugh-out-loud funny.
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